I read a blog post entitled “What to do if you are falling out of love with New York” recently. It is a pretty solid list and it made me review all those moments when NYC and I were on rough terms. Often those times seem to coincide with lack of money or love, but sometimes you just get mad at the daily stuff, like when you haven’t had hot water for over a week because your landlord is just terrible, and your dog tries to eat yet another chicken bone off the sidewalk which is there because of the ridiculously high stray cat population that tears into the garbage every trash pick-up day, and one of your neighbors has a friend who loves blasting the same Nickleback song (yes, that one) at 7am out of their car’s ridiculously large speakers when they pick them up EVERY morning. But enough about my week.
Getting mad at New York about these kind of things is kind of like fighting with a lover over the toothpaste cap being left off one too many times. I like Mary’s list because it suggests the three categories of things you really need to do if you are going through one of these rough patches:
- Remind yourself of why you fell in love in the first place. Was it Dinner and Soju in K-Town? A visit to the Cloisters on a pleasant day with a view of the Palisades from Ft. Tryon Park? Mermaid Parade at Coney? Um…pizza? Ziegfeld Theater? Do those things.
- Spice it up with something new. New York is indeed constantly changing, so embrace the new, grow and change with it! Have you been to Red Hook lately? If not, you should since, the new (free weekend) ferry service to Fairway puts you right at the foot of Van Brunt and much closer to eating Swingles (Steve’s is moving near Valentino Park in case you weren’t aware) and also closer to buying chocolate rum. Have you ever been to Flushing, Jackson Heights, The Rockaways, or City Island? Or to the Bronx, Queens or Brooklyn Museums (The El Anatsui exhibit is lovely by the way)? Do go.
- Take some time apart to refresh yourself and reorient your perspective.
So maybe you need some time away and leaving your borough just isn’t enough. Thank goodness you are in NYC! You have regional rail that can take you to Long Island, the Jersey Shore, or Connecticut. Amtrak service. Three airports. And we even have boats! So have a fling with LA, Orlando, or even Tucson. New York won’t judge you (but I might: Orlando, really?). She is pretty confident that you will be back, and if not, there are millions of others who love her, even if a lot of those refuse to spend the night.
If these lists don’t help, make your own and share (or not). Sometimes it is odd little [slightly embarrassing] things that make a relationship better… I find that sometimes music helps. Watching Remo Williams, the Adventure Begins, which has some great footage of New York in the mid-1980’s, warms my heart mostly because my first celebrity sighting in NYC was Fred Ward in the village, walking around, acting all normal like he wasn’t Fred Ward, using ATMs and stuff. Also a little frolic in an open hydrant when no one is looking is definitely good for the soul if not the shoes.